Be forewarned: Day 62 is not for the squeamish. We’re gonna talk about blood.
My father-in-law had a saying. “No blood, no pain.” Sorta makes sense, right? Surely if you’re bleeding, you’re experiencing some pain, even if that pain is “merely” emotional. Of course, being a programmer and an extrovert (and a smart ass), I love to point out when people make errors in converse logic:
If bleeding, then in pain is not logically equivalent to If not bleeding, then not in pain.
Once upon a time, Wifey broke a bone. I think it was in her foot. And this hurt, of course. But her father would have nothing of it. “No blood, no pain.” And so she went to bed with a broken foot. Low and behold, the next morning, her foot had grown to twice its normal size.
If not in pain, then not bleeding. If in pain, something is wrong.
But every rule has its exceptions. I think I was in early adolescence when I first heard the word spotting. Perhaps this is because between my tenth and fourteenth years, I lived in a small apartment with my mother and my younger sister (younger by one year). I learned all sorts of stuff about the female reproductive system and its cycle, most of it the hard way.
The normal menstrual cycle follows the rule.
If bleeding, then in pain.
From what I gather through observation, the menstrual cycle hurts a lot. First, depending upon her susceptibility to hormonal fluctuations, the patient experiences something akin to insanity (not to be confused with actual insanity). Then, the cramping experienced prior to and during menstrual bleeding seems to be some of the most uncomfortable pain imaginable. I mean, leg cramps aren’t much fun; but I can’t imagine experiencing a leg cramp in my abdomen.
Spotting, however, is something altogether different. Spotting is the appearance of minute amounts of blood, exiting from whence blood is expected, just not at the right time. Spotting can occur prior to the normal menstrual cycle; can occur at the time the ovum is embedded into the wall of the uterus; and, as we have experienced, can occur at 1 AM when it’s approximately 3 degrees (Fahrenheit) outside. The confusing part is that this kind of bleeding isn’t necessarily associated with pain, thus breaking the rule.
If bleeding and not in pain, then… what?
Not long after we found out we were pregnant, we had a bit of a scare. Nothing beats going to the E.R. at one in the morning, except for when it’s the middle of January and really damn cold. That’s not to mention the difficulty associated with assimilating the idea of your wife experiencing a miscarriage.
Apparently, a tiny corner of the placenta had torn away from the wall of the uterus. Assuming the tear does not continue, normal blood clotting occurs, the torn tissue dies, and the whole mess gets reabsorbed by the body. They called her spotting — which was quite a bit heavier than any other spotting she’d experienced — a threatened miscarriage. This sounds like something an angry baby would do. “If you eat beans one more time, why I outta!”
If bleeding and pregnant, do not wait for pain.
After the exhaustion and stress subsided, we were able to reflect fondly upon the evening. Not only did we have the reassurance of a blood test, but through ultrasound Wifey got her first glimpse at our baby. (Note to husbands everywhere: if they say they’re taking your wife to do an ultrasound, go along, even if it is 3 AM and you can barely see. They didn’t offer, so I thought nothing of it. I regret this.) Seeing and hearing the heartbeat made the pregnancy very real for her, on a level that her physical symptoms had failed to achieve.
If bleeding, then alive.